


You Came Back

by chylersilva



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 14:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3613719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chylersilva/pseuds/chylersilva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madalena Amell doesn't know how to deal with facing her Calling. An ask box prompt that turned into a little more than a drabble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Came Back

The first nightmare woke her with a start, sweat along her brow and goosebumps on her arms. She remembered the denial setting in quickly. It couldn’t possibly have been what she deep down knew it was. She got no more sleep that night, instead passing the remaining hours before daylight studying the man in bed beside her. He continued to slumber, blissfully unaware of the thousand emotions that had taken a hold of his love in that moment. The urge to reach out was almost too much to resist, and in any other circumstances she was hardly one for restraint. To toy with a strand of golden hair or to trace a finger along those familiar tattoos would have surely meant waking the assassin. That was the last thing she wanted, because with one look right now, she was certain he would see right through to what was troubling her. By morning, she’d built walls ready to guard her new dark secret.

They’d talked a few times about what they would do when this day, or rather, night inevitably came. But each conversation generally ended with her brushing off the topic, making some quip about it taking more than some pesky dreams to do her in, taint or no. Now that it was actually here, she felt uncharacteristically helpless. She was still however, relentlessly stubborn and felt adamant that she could not tell Zevran. As weeks went by, the nightmares grew more frequent and in turn the walls she’d built around herself grew thicker. She found herself lashing out needlessly, stirring up disagreements they hadn’t had in years. The more distance she could put between them, the easier it was to keep hiding. The more tension between them, the easier it would be to ultimately follow through on her intended plan: to leave.

It was the coward’s way out, surely, but then she’d never made any claims of chivalry. He’d lost so much in his life, her lethal lover, and seen so much pain. The hurt of her departure would surely be a decent trade off to replace what he would go through as witness to her end. Or even worse, he would want to face it with her. It was that thought most of all which motivated her deception. She may be getting swindled of many years life owes her, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to let the same happen to beautiful creature that was Zevran Arainai. Her Zevran, who she may soon never see again. She almost wanted to roll her eyes at herself. It was typical that she would suddenly develop a selfless streak in her last days.

The day she planned to leave, she woke early from an unusually calm night’s sleep. Her intention was to leave her carefully constructed note, taking off before he even awoke. But as she moved to the edge of the bed she felt him stirring and next thing she knew there was an arm draped across her stomach tugging her back into the bed. “Mm, and where do you think you’re going?” The warmth in his voice was like a punch to her gut and she found herself giving in to his pull all too easily. “I hope you are not still cross with me after our last talk. Let me make it up to you, mi amore.” He was sitting up now on the bed, moving to hug her from behind and drop swift kisses along her bare shoulder. Eyes closing of their own accord, she wanted nothing more than to pretend that this was a day like any other with the love of her life, that she hadn’t spent several sleepless nights wondering how long until she finds herself at the mercy of darkspawn in the depths of the underground.

By the time she opened her eyes again, there were tears streaming silently down her face. It would have been so easy to wipe them away and return to his embrace. Even their most heated arguments ended with them tangled between sheets (not to say he didn’t make do when a bed wasn’t immediately available). That could not be the ending here, she reminded herself sadly. She heard him murmuring loving phrases in a mixture of Antivan and the common tongue under his breath as he continued lavishing attention on the crook of her neck, little naughty promises that never failed to send a delightful shiver down her spine.

Her body tense, the mage took his arms into her hands to peel them away. Before he could protest, she stood and in a swift movement wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. When she finally turned to face him, she could see the confusion on his face abruptly transition to concern. She’d always hated the sight of a frown marring his familiar features, especially when she was the cause. She very much preferred doing anything she could to secure his signature smirk back in place.

“Zevran, I have to- I’m…” But she couldn’t get the words out. He was on his feet in an instant, hands reaching to pull her close again but she maintained her distance. This wasn’t at all going according to plan, but then again this was never going to be easy. “I need to go,” she finally said, refusing to make eye contact with the elf. “Go where? Mi cielo tell me what is the matter? Whatever this is troubling you, I will put an end to it. Just tell me. Let me come with you.” But she was backing away, sliding into her light layer of armor and throwing whatever small necessities she could glimpse into a small pack. She tried to pretend she didn’t notice the wounded look on his face as she continued to brush him off. Her staff was the last item to grab, never too far from the bed, much like his set of daggers. “Is this…how long do you intend to go wherever it is you’re going? Surely you’re not…” But he didn’t finish the sentence and she didn’t dare look at him to acknowledge it.

As he seemingly processed what was happening, she took the opportunity to slip away and out the door. The second she hit fresh air she broke out into a sprint, tears falling freely again as she fought to catch her breath. She felt powerless to the rush of emotions that took her over, to the fate she faced. It was unfair. She’d known it would come, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. After spending years of her life getting exactly what she wanted, when she wanted, to have it all taken away in such a short span of time was one monster she couldn’t handle. Alone, at least, a little voice told her.

It wasn’t until hours later that the message sunk in. All she wanted in life was to be with him, why should rapidly approaching death change that? She wasn’t cut out for this selflessness. Trying to save him the suffering, it wasn’t worth the thought of spending her last days without seeing his face or hearing the way her name rolls off his tongue. Selfish decision made, she started the journey back to the small home the pair had made for themselves.

She found him sitting on the edge of their bed, head hung low, gripping a piece of paper. It struck her then that he’d found the note she’d written, that she’d intended to leave for him but forgot all about in her rush earlier.

Eyes taking in the sight of her, he seemed a cross between relief and disbelief. Before he could speak, she practically glided towards him, pulling the note from his hands to toss it on the floor before wrapping her arms around him tightly.

“I’m so sorry love, I…was going to leave. I thought I could, but I couldn’t. I was actually going to leave you, so stupid.” She buried her face in his shoulder as he ran his hands along her sides.

“But you came back. You came back, like I knew you would.” That caused her to pull back a bit so she could look at him, concern still etched into his handsome face.

“Did you?” She couldn’t help but to ask, having been uncertain herself.

“I did. Who would willingly leave such a charming, devastatingly good-looking man like this?” His jest lifted the mood, her lips finding his in response with a needy kiss.

Many, many moments later when they had to stop to breathe, he brought a hand up to cup the side of her face. “Now, are you going to tell me what is wrong? The truth.”

She sighed, so very tired and defeated despite the immense contentment she felt being in his arms again. “I’ve been having nightmares. Not just…you know, the sort with unpleasant Templars. These are, well, it’s the Calling, Zev. I can feel it, the old gods talking to me and I’m so afraid. I was going to leave because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to put you through this.” He was quiet, but she could see the words registering in his mind and the pain spreading over his expression.

“You’re- no.” His brow was furrowed as she felt his grip along her hips tighten. The hand at her face dropped to rest against the small of her back. “Are you certain?” He asked curtly, and it was his turn in the moment to avoid eye contact.

“Unfortunately very certain. But we’ll get through it, okay? Somehow, because here I am and here you are. Maybe let’s not dwell on it now. I only know that all I want is to spend however many days I have left above the ground with you. Loving you.”

He kissed her again then, fiercely but also slow and deliberate. After a few moments she tasted a hint of salt and realized that it was tears. His or hers she couldn’t be sure. They went on like this for some time. She was glad to lose herself in him again, to set aside her worries in favor of the feel of him against her. When finally they detangled themselves again, he took both of her hands into his.

“I know I do not say this nearly enough, but I love you, my dear Madalena. I cannot stand this thinking of losing you. So I won’t. We are going to fight it, just as we always have, no? You are the Hero of Ferelden and I am the assassin who escaped the Crows. If there is anyone to put an end to this Calling nonsense, I think it is us. We will start our work tomorrow. Tonight, I have very different but equally important plans for you.”


End file.
